It amazes me how someone can claim to love God and His people, when they refuse to support their own daughter. Today I realized something I probably should’ve recognized many years ago. My family doesn’t consist of those that are blood relations. The only true person who is a blood relation that I consider family is my sister, Danielle. She is the only one who I can depend upon fully when my life is in shambles.

Today I gave up trying to satisfy my parents, especially my mother. It’s hard for me because as a writer, I’m an optimist. I want to believe I can have that fairy tale life, but with her, it’s impossible. I have grown up as a strong Christian. I love people. But time and time again, people break my heart. I want to see the best in them. I want to wish they can change for the better. Unfortunately this mindset is faulty.

I have devoted my life to achieving my dreams. I have worked hard all throughout my schooling. I didn’t need an extra push. I wanted to do the best I could. I received a full ride to Lamar because of my grades. Not only have I excelled scholastically, but I have been involved in numerous extracurriculars. I led Praise Band for my church in high school. I go to College Bible Study. I am the Vice President of my sorority. I make the Dean’s List. I’m in Circle K because I love giving back to the community. I twirl for the new Marching Band at my university. I do this all because I want more than a typical college experience.

All I asked was to have a little independence. I never have been a “bad kid” but wanting to be a mature adult is too much for my “family” to handle. Wanting more than living in this shitty town is too much for them. Wanting a life different than the one they envisioned for me was too much.

I’ve come to the point that I no longer need their approval. I want more than this little town has to offer me. I have great friends there. I have great organizations. But I will not be there forever. If a person loves the area, then that’s terrific. It truly is. However if I choose to leave it, my decision deserves respect. I love where I am now and the honesty of the people here. I may not stay here now. But trust me, I’ll be back. I’ve finally found the home here that I’ve been searching for for twenty years. And it’s worth fighting for.

I’m sorry if this writing offends you. Actually I’m not. I’m going to be real about my life. Enough people have their fake ones. It won’t be me. If you care about me, then show it. After all, there’s no day but today.