December 2011
2 posts
3 tags
J,
You are my first.
And I wonder if I’m enough.
You’re my world.
But what am I to you?
2 tags
J,
I’m scared I won’t be good enough.
I’m scared you will disappear again.
I’m scared I love you too much.
I’m scared I won’t be enough.
I’m scared that we won’t last.
September 2011
3 posts
1 tag
G,
I’m really whiny right now. I’m attributing it to my Aunt Flo visiting. My apologies.
1 tag
J,
I’m frustrated. I’m constantly confused by you and your actions. You say we’re okay. And we’re together now. So everything should be okay. But it isn’t. Is it? You kiss me and tell me you want to be with me. Then you get so distant. It isn’t supposed to be like this. Is it?
2 tags
B,
You shouldn’t have said bonsoir. I know you didn’t know that today I’ve been upset with J. But I have been. And you saying bonsoir and being charming isn’t needed. I should be sleeping. Instead I’m wondering what if’s.
July 2011
6 posts
3 tags
The Hypocrisy of A Small Town
It amazes me how someone can claim to love God and His people, when they refuse to support their own daughter. Today I realized something I probably should’ve recognized many years ago. My family doesn’t consist of those that are blood relations. The only true person who is a blood relation that I consider family is my sister, Danielle. She is the only one who I can depend upon fully...
1 tag
M,
I don’t understand you. I don’t understand why you can’t let me be independent. I don’t understand why you act like I’ve been a horrible daughter. I haven’t. I know I am not perfect, but I don’t see how I could possibly deserve the treatment you’ve given me. What is wrong with wanting to go off to school? What’s wrong with not wanting to...
1 tag
C,
I don’t want to leave you. I’m already too attached. Is it wrong to want to separate yourself from the world? When you know you can’t stay forever with these people? I never anticipated loving this place the way I do. It’s freeing really. And beautiful. There’s a vibe here that cannot be matched. The people are unique. The culture is alive. And it’s calming...
1 tag
J,
I’m not sure if I’ll ever fully understand this relationship that we have. A part of me wants to hate you with all that I have in me, yet a larger part loves you more than life itself. You were the first person I truly fell in love with. I loved the good and the bad that makes you. You are my best friend. Even though I try not talking to you, you’re the one I want to turn to...
1 tag
G,
I don’t understand why life has to be this hard. Why do some people get the easy life and others have to struggle to make ends meet? It hardly seems fair. Then of course someone would add the “life isn’t fair” mantra into this conversation. Still that doesn’t justify it at all. I wasn’t perfect in high school but I did a lot. Yet despite my good grades and...
1 tag
M,
I hate how you make me self-conscious. I always thought you were supposed to be a guide, helping me understand the problems of being a teenage girl. Instead, I put on more makeup to make myself feel better around you. I straightened my hair twice. I wore uncomfortable clothing that I thought you would approve of. But I could tell you were never satisfied. Truly.
It killed me. You judging my...